A feeling of helplessness creeps in. I've been unable to compete with the overwhelming message my 8th graders get that school is over. This started in late May, with the first "end of year" festivals. They aren't called "end of year" events, but they do in fact signify the end, and why we begin this nonsense in May is beyond me when school runs to the end of June. It affects the entire school, not just grade 8. Spring Concert (chorus, band) was first. Then comes the award ceremony, then Grade 8 exams in Social Studies & Intermediate Level Science, then senior T-shirts (which have to be signed, of course), prom night, graduation rehearsals, yearbooks distribution/signing, graduation itself, report card & diploma distribution. All that and we are still waiting for June 22nd and the Regents Exam. Of course the regents students want to relax & enjoy the festivities like the rest of their grade 8 classmates, but their mean old science teacher won't let them. For an entire month getting time with my students has been hit or miss. I've had to require that they come to class & work on days when other students are signing year books or other activities, the details of which I won't go into ("seniors" get a lot of privileges, let's leave it at that). As a chaperone I joked about "homeostasis" when we were sweating on the cheese bus going to the prom. I won't allow them to get report cards or diplomas until after the exam, when their non-regents classmates are getting all that on Monday - and if they don't show up for the exam (as some have whispered about) then they will have to wait till the last day of school. In the end I've had to resort to threats, and I don't feel good about the whole situation.
I knew the schedule in June would be weird, but I was totally unprepared for the level of active resistance and apathy I've seen in a lot of the kids. One day I threatened half seriously to cancel the exam, hoping to light a fire under them, and instead they cheered - and these are some of the top academic students in the school. In May I was realistically hopeful that only a handful of kids would fail outright. Now after the month of folly, it's looking like 15-20 out of 60 students will likely fail to reach 65. I've got two days to review if they show up - and I fear the ones who need the most help won't even come to the review sessions.
I know I've made mistakes and I'm compiling a list in my head of things to do differently next year, but I'll save that until after the exam - right now I'm not thinking clearly. I probably put too much of the wrong kind of pressure on them at the wrong time, which I will elaborate on later. And who knows, maybe they will surprise me next week and show up ready to get it together.
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